i drank some wine tonight, and I will go to work tomorrow
hungover or exhausted or drained because,
i am thinking of you at 1 am, and i would hate to admit how often this happens
but i think at least i am not in bed next to a woman named margaret while
swallowing another woman’s name in my sleep, choking on it to wake up
at least i am not lying to myself that you are the first face i see when
my mind is free to do as it likes.
at least i do not wake to lies drying in the corner of my eyes,
kissing a man who does not know the way my skin felt two years ago
or how i cried because i once killed a racoon while driving home high
and what my parents look like when they are kissing in the kitchen on christmas eve.
at least i am not trying to rationalize the echo in my lungs while i shower.
at least i do not have to say a name that sounds bitter in my mouth
because it is not yours.